I have been thinking recently about the difference between who I am as Ameka Menes and who I am as a Transy student. Sometimes the two blend. Sometimes I feel separated from the stereotypes I am assigned by passerby. Sometimes I am more than people make me out to be: I am not just a source of income for my university.
Other times I am not even who I think I am.
We come to college to question who we are, and who we may or may not become, as well as who we aspire to become. This process occurs whether or not you notice it. As people, we are growing. Not necessarily every day, but one obstacle at a time.
One day, I will not be a student here anymore. And then who will be? How will I define myself? When “student” is not a term that applies to me? When I will not be just an “English major”? Who will I say I am, and more importantly, who will I view myself as when I lay down and close my eyes at the end of the day?
I will admit, I have reached a point in my time here that I must make difficult decisions about how I will proceed with my degree. But I am not alone. You are not alone, either, where you stand. In many ways, despite that you are probably still in high school and that I am a sophomore in college, we are together.
When I envision myself attending another university, I see myself having turned out differently. I see this bright young woman who was socially awkward perhaps never having made the same strides that I actually did. I could see my confidence perhaps taking a different route. I have endured hardships (regardless of whether I deserved them or not) that I handled in ways that I would not have expected: sometimes well, and other times not so well but then I learned something.
The point is, I picked the right place to start growing academically and socially. I may make this decision sound easy, but it takes a lot of reassessing. Looking back, I chose Transy quickly and easily. I was lucky that the intellectual seed that I was landed in the right spot to sprout – and became a healthy young plant… or something like that. 🙂